Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Insta-Famous

Many of the people who read this blog know me in real life. And many of them know I love my cat Shakira. Shakira is a black cat with a spunky personality and an obnoxious meow. Shakira also has 314 followers on Instagram. And even crazier than that Shakira has a photo that received 2,400 likes.. I know. So weird. But as Shakira's "momager" I'll tell you how to become slightly famous in the cat obsessed world of Instagram.

Know Your Audience
People love cute cats. But, people love cute cats with silly personalities more. If you have a cat that poses, sleeps in funny positions, does wild things or is just plain cute use that to your advantage.

Captions Are Important
Of course your initial photo will be the reason someone clicks on your profile but what makes them stay? CAPTIONS. Add a funny remark or something your cat would be thinking to make the cat photo relatable. No one likes a serious cat. Even Grumpy Cat's sarcastic banter is adorable. 

Following Spree
The major key to success in becoming instafamous is developing a squad that would rival Taylor Swift's. Your cat needs cat friends. And those cat friends will provide likes on your cat's photo. Which will then make it appear in more people's search feeds. Which will attract more cat lovers to your page which creates more followers! And with more followers you get more likes which finally starts the whole cycle anew. 

My dear cat lovers, your future in instagramming is attainable. Pursue your dreams by living vicariously through your cat. Cry a little when you realize your photo roll has 600 cat pictures. Live! 



Friday, August 12, 2016

Retail Horror Stories

      Hey ya'll! It's been almost an entire year since I wrote on this blog. Here's an update on me. I now live in Utah, I'm eighteen years old, and I work at Petsmart. And let me tell you, retail teaches you quite a few things about human kind. People can be impatient, rude, cruel, and sometimes just plain gross. And I think it's time I share a couple of my experiences.

      On my second day of working in Pet Care an older gentleman approached me and asked me to bag some fish for him. I of course said yes and asked how many he wanted and what type. He then proceeded to ask for 200 small goldfish. Which is actually not that hard to do, but here's the catch. He demanded that they couldn't have black or white on them. That's the majority of what we have. It took me 45 minutes to catch the exact fish he wanted while he took the opportunity to mansplain about the proper fishing techniques and pond construction. I honestly thought I would fall asleep from boredom.

     Now a cashiering story. On an evening shift I was the only cashier working. I had a small, happy lady come up with two bags of dog treats. I did my usual thing asking her for her number or email to get the PetPerks discounts. After I got that done I scanned her items. She was shocked to see the prices were much different than what she expected. I asked her where she got the products from and if she could show me the prices she had thought. After seeing where she got them I had to tell her that they had been put in the wrong place and were actually different than the PetPerk discount versions. She became very very upset. She demanded to speak to my manager. He showed up and was actually kind enough to take 25% off of one of the bags. Apparently that wasn't good enough for her so she only bought the discounted bag. When he left, she proceeded to call me inconsiderate and stupid for putting the bags in the wrong place. I told her I wasn't the one who put products away but that I was still sorry for the confusion. She huffed about it a little more a I put her treats in a bag. I handed her the products and two seconds later bam! She had picked up the treats she didn't buy and threw them at my face. It hurt pretty bad actually but she had already sprinted out of the store so she couldn't get in trouble. Oh well I guess.

So. Do I recommend working in retail? Not. At. All. But hey. We all have bills to pay and mouths to feed and money doesn't grow on trees. Good luck fellow retail employees. Good luck. :)