The Return: Part 1

One thing I hate is when people will say they do something yet they never do. Yes I'm aware that I did the exact same thing. IRONY.

This year has ben rough, like really rough. I've basically had homework every night, which is awfl. And as many of you know I've been grounded and stuff. Because of reasons.. (Family memebers will understand)

Um second, I'm going to be writing less and less which I apologize for. And I guess that's an update for ya'll. SO thank you all the people who have been so concerned about me!!

Welcome Back

Hello everybody!!! I just wanted to let you know that I will be writing a few stories in a couple days. I apologize for not posting in about ummm three months. Whoops.

Prom

OH WAIT, I DIDN'T GO. Instead I ate a bag of Fritos and drank Diet Pepsi in my pajamas. Augh

School House Blues

So the sun is setting on the school year, which makes me the most happy person in the world. JK.
I really am going to miss it. I've had such a great freshman year. I made new friends, I had great classes, I learned things. Sighhh But, soon it will be the summer! And I will be tan and glorious,lalalala perfection

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER

So on Facebook(where all stupid things happen) I saw my newsfeed was filled like this:

Guy: TBH? Doing all #bored

Girl: TBH?? :) all of 'em. #bored

Boy: booored, #TBH? 

Chick: Tbh? lol #bored

Dude: TBH?? yep doin all :) borreedd

Brave Soul: Loving life right now!!!:)

GASP!  

NOOOOOOOOOO!

Okay so I just found out something, and I'm like:

NO, This is fake, I will not stand for it. Can I be alone? I can't? Please. NO, I can't even. Just augh. No, NO, NOO

JK everything's fine.

Dear Facebook Users Everywhere

Dear Facebook Users
        We have been companions for over two years. I thank you for your friendship. But I have one small request. Can you please stop the use of hash tags? They are extremely annoying. For example: These were on my news feed just this morning.

That moment when ur being ignored and u dont know y :/ #literally #mad #why #are #you #ignoring #me? 

What would I do without him?! #brother #mylittleman #lovehim #crazy

BRRR! 

#coldday #tryingtostaywarm #freezing #track

Keep calm and shoot a shot gun :)

# 12 gauge

I'm sorry, but is this not ridiculous?  These people are literally* driving me insane!

*literally is being used as a mocking word.

Literally.

This is what I see, like literally everyday.

 Some Girl:Literally gonna cry!!! I lost my charger!!! ;( 
              Some other chick:Omg this is why I love you because your a BIG DORK
Some Girl:Haha dude I'm serious...I'm really crying!! My dad is in my doorway literally laughing at me. Like I'm literally crying over this.
              Some other chick: Dude, that sucks. I literally can't believe you did that.



My response to this: ARE YOU STUPID?? Please everyone, use literally in appropriate statements. It should be used with respect. LITERALLY

Things I Seriously Heard Today (No JOKE)

"Dang ladies, look at these abs."
my response in my head: Are you stupid??
'What kind of Asian are you?"
my response in my head: Are you stupid??
"LOL GUYS, I'm such a hipster"
my response in my head: Are you stupid??
"I think I'm going to go on a diet, of raw fish and milk"
my response in my head: Are you stupid??
"How many hours are in a day?"
my response in my head: Are you stupid??
"Does dye go into your head? Cause if it does, that would explain why I act so blonde"
This one made me want to punch the girl in her face. Like straight up.

10 Things Every Blogger Knows is True

• A blogger is obsessive over how many views they get in a day.
• Their blog has to have the perfect theme.
• Bloggers think way too much about how they can diversify their fan-base.
• Their blog is seen as a holy place. Where one can meditate and enjoy.
• Blogs are more trouble than they are worth, but you wouldn't get rid of yours.
• A blog post has to relate to everything and nothing at the same time.
• Bloggers sometimes think in everyday situations, "This would be perfect for my blog".
• Sometimes bloggers fear that creeps will find them if they post personal things.
• A blogger can usually tell if someone else is one of our kind. (another blogger)
• Blogs are the best way to tell people your feelings.

Don't. Touch. ME.

Alright so one thing you should know about me, I hate when people touch my hair. Like seriously don't, don't, don't, touch my hair! Except for my lovely sister who can touch it because she's special. Second thing, I hate hugs. They make me feel like I'm being strangled. Just no.

The English Class

I am typing in my English class. My teacher is walking around, and I really hope he does not come over and look at what I'm doing. I don't think he'd really mind much but you never know. Oh look here he comes walking closer to this computer. It's not like I didn't get my work done, because I did. And he looked at it and said, "Great job!" Which I graciously accepted it as a compliment instead of one of those things teachers just say as a fill in for awkward moments. So yes, everyone have a great day. 

Question #9

Dear kambria,
for two months, I've liked this gurl. Shes super pretty and realy nice. how should I ask her out/
scareed

Well Scareed,
Judging by your grammar and spelling errors, you should definitely not write this girl a note. She will be confused and probably reject you . So first, get to know this girl better. Yes telling a girl she's pretty works charms, but if that's all you have? Just no. Expect to be rejected. Second, talk to her! Not like flirting, but be nice. Ask about her, let her speak. Final step, ask her out. Approach her in a horizontal manner. It really freaks girls out to be approached from behind or directly in front. Then go right into the question. Say this
"So, we've been talking a lot lately, and I was thinking maybe we should hang out sometime?" Then her response will probably be one of these three things. "Sure, I'd love to" or "No, I thought we could just be friends?" or a mumbled "Umm maybe." Respond to these responses with appropriate remarks.

Have fun,
Cambria or kambria? (Like seriously man, learn to read)

April Fools'

Happy April Fools' Day! JUST KIDDING! I hate this day. Let me tell you why..
When I was in kindergarten, my dearest brother was in 5th grade. Of course he would watch out for me.. What a wonderful brother right? So one time he was playing with me, and this girl came over.(It was April 1st by the way) and she had a big bag of oreos. So I was like SWEET! And she offered one to my brother who took one. He paused for a moment and at it. HE said thank you and asked if I could have one ,too. Because he was just that nice. The girl smiled sweetly, and preceded to hand me an oreo. I greedily accepted it. I shoved the entire thing in my mouth... And then it hit me. The disgusting taste of Colgate toothpaste and chocolate. I began to gag and cough. I heard laughter as my vision blurred. My brother wasn't laughing though.. And then my coughing got much worse. The girl looked a little scared. I then puked all over her shoes. She started crying, and my brother looked completely mortified. He picked me up and hauled me to the office to call my mom.. I still am very wary of oreos.

Saying Hello

Every once and awhile, I get the bright idea to write a message to people. Sometimes it actually makes sense and has meaning. But sometimes it's random... And let me show you what I mean. This is my process.

Dear Momo(made up name)
wait is dear too formal? Yes it is maybe I'll try something else.
Hi Momo
hmm a bit too uptight
Hey Momo
perfect
Hey Momo, I just wanted to say hi.
this sounds needy and obsessed
Hey Momo, what up?
ew too casual and weird
Hey Momo, how are you?
ok better
Hey Momo, how are you? Ok bye
um no
Hey Momo, how are you? Love Cambria
I don't even know this person that well
Hey Momo, how are you? Cambria
eh good enough for me

Z is for Zeus

We have come a long way my little lemons. Look at what letter we're up to!!! Z! I'm very proud of my work, and I appreciate all of you who take the time to ponder over what I say and send me beautiful fan mail. Thank you!

Story time. When I was in the 2nd grade, we had to do a play. It was about the gods of Olympus. I recall one boy in my class who got to be Zeus. There was a scene where Zeus spills his cup of grape juice all over the place (it was supposed to be wine I later found out, but we were children), and then he was supposed to cry. For some reason, this Zeus child could not fake crying! He would just start sniffling then he would bust out in laughter. Our teacher told him he needed to try harder. So he did. She smiled and said "Good job Buddy!"

Then came the day when we had to perform in front of the school. (Oh and by the way, my part was so small that I only had one line. I said "For Olympus!") The day of the performance, we were ready. Zeus promised our teacher that he would do his crying perfectly. And so the play started. When his glory moment came, Zeus cried. But they crying became laughter. And that laughter was so hard that he peed his pants in front of the whole school and the play was cancelled. What a good experience that was...

Y is for Yesterday

Yesterday, my troubles seemed so far away. But now they seem like there here to stay..

Just kidding! I don't really have any serious troubles because I am happy, happy, happy

X is for Experiment X

As a child, I once went to my dear cousin's house to pay a visit. We were around the age of 6 I believe.
We got this crazy idea to make something special. We had watched some cooking show earlier that day. So we got our supplies. (Follow these directions and you might just throw up)
You will need:

• Sprite
• Coco Puffs
• Milk
• A Betty Crocker Cook Stove
• No parental supervision
• Sprinkles
• A small bowl

We threw our supplies into the bowl, turned up the stove and waited.... We watched the stuff gurgle. Soon we got bored and left our mixture. Later that night, my aunt came to my cousin's room and looked so angry. We got scared and asked what was wrong. She pointed to the basement with a scowl. The mixture!!!! We then quickly ran down the stairs and went to the stove. The bowl was melted, the mixture hardened. It stunk so bad I started gagging. My aunt told us to clean the putrid mess up, and we did. Crying the entire time....

W is for Wonderment

How many of you have seen the Prestige? It's a great movie if you like dead birds, scary guys, and death. Anyway, let me tell you about magic tricks, with a quote from the movie of course.

 "Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course... it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you're looking for the secret... but you won't find it, because of course you're not really looking. You don't really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn't clap yet. Because making something disappear isn't enough; you have to bring it back. That's why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call "The Prestige"." 

V is for Very Happy

Heeeellloo WORLD! Today is a very special day. I am absolutely thrilled by my happiness. I love my family, I love my school, I love my friends, I love everything. BECAUSE I'M SO DANG HAPPY.
Love,
Cambria (the crazy)

U is for Unicorns

If I were a Unicorn...

If I were a Unicorn, would I be small?

Would I have wind tossed hair?

Would my fur glisten?

Would my name be Unicorn or something more grand?

If I were a unicorn...

T is for the Truth

Here are some some true things about me that I hardly tell anyone.

• I'm afraid of birds.
• I'm afraid of dogs, even my own.
• I hate doing laundry and think it's a waste of time.
• I dream of being a writer some day, but realize that it would be hard to find a career.
• My best friends are all extremely different.
• I love school.
• I can memorize things very quickly.
• I'm super messy and disorganized.
• One of my biggest fears in life is failing. At anything and everything.
• Almost every week I have the same nightmare of being at my own funeral.
• I'm addicted to video games.   

 And last but not least, I feel as if no one in the world cares about what I write on here. And I think I'm okay with that.

S is for the Sun

Here comes the sun

Here comes the sun and I say, It's all right.

R is for Ridicule

Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to tell you how to insult someone without using a single curse word. Ready?

• You sir/madame are a vain, swag-bellied, impertinent harpy!
• You fiend! You cowardly, beslubbering fool!
• How can anyone be so earth-vexing as you?!
• Beef-headed canker-blossom!

And my personal favorite,

YOU HORN-BEAST!!!!

Thank you Mister Shakespeare for enlightening the world with your creative words.:)

Q is for Quirky

Q is a really hard letter. But anyways, I got another story for you little chinchillas.

I have a dear friend named umm let's call him Chinchilla B. Chinchilla B is like the most awesome person ever. Except for one thing he totally hates chinchillas!!!! Like why?? According to him, they can and will suck out your soul when you're not looking.. What the heck Chinchilla B? WHAT THE HECK!?

P is for People

I don't hate people. Really I don't. I just hate people's actions...

O is for Only One Here

If you were the only person in the entire world for one day what would you do? Would you go wild? Do everything and anything? Or would you just stay at home and count the hours of you being alone? It's a difficult choice...

N is for Night Owl

It's time for me to come clean... I can't sleep. Like ever. I just sit in my bed and think about life...
Pretty much my night is like this:

What Is Tomorrow? When Will My Life Become Even More Awesomer? Is That Possible? Am I Secretly A Princess? Wait, If X = Y, Then Why Does Y=Mx+B? Does Math Work In Outer Space? If Drugs Make You See Stuff You’ve Never Seen, Doesn’t That Mean That You’re Actually Making Something That Never Has Been Created? Do Babies Have Kneecaps? Where Would My Life Be If I Didn’t Have The Internet? How Is My Bed This Uncomfortable? What Was That Noise? Smokey Is Snoring Somewhere In Here I Bet. Wait, Or Was That Meeko? Does Meeko Even Live Here? Why Am I Not Asleep? When Is The Next Season Of Sherlock Holmes Coming Out? I Wonder If We’ll See That One Girl Again? If My Hairbrush Got Caught In My Hair, Would I Have To Cut My Hair? Wait, Am I Even Here Right Now? Is It Really 4 Am? I Have To Get Up In An Hour?! Whoa, This Night Has Been Going Fast..

M is for Meeko

I have a cat. His name is Meeko. He is one of the coolest cats like ever.
Here's why:

• Meeko is overweight, from eating Walmart cat food.
• He enjoys Tasty Temptations from Walmart also.
• He loves to bite his brothers tail. 
• Meeko loves the ladies.
• Meeko watches TV like nonstop.
• He's one of my best friends. 

L is for Love.

He totally did guys. Why did you mess it up with him???

K is for Knowledge Bowl

Soooooooooo I'm a bowler. A knowledge bowler. That means I go to competitions across my state. And yeah, my team won a few golds, not bragging or anything. I've met a bunch of really cool people. Everyone is smart and not even mean about it.
Let me tell you the story of how I got involved in knowledge bowling.
It was in the 8th grade. My friends said hey let's join knowledge bowl. and we did.
i was the only one who stuck with it into high school of course. Little punks running off like that.

J is for Jealousy

We all have been through it. That moment when you realize someone is better than you. It's OK  I think you're a great individual, with a wonderful personality, envious looks, and a sense of humor that is awesome. So that means, I'm jealous of you. JUST KIDDING! We're on an equal level right? Or in a more  mathematical example:

Cambria < You
Correct?

I is for Isotope

Yes, children it's that time of the week. Letter time!! I is for isotope. I really don't know what isotopes are.. Someone tell me please?

H is for Hallway Akwardness

Yeah, when you're in high school pretty much everything is awkward. EVERYTHING. Let's talk about the hallway!

• Cramped
• Smelly
• Everyone Stares
• Bumping into people.
• Eye contact.
• Everyone just has to mention how much juice you're carrying. (sorry for liking juice)
• Teachers
• Lockers

Yes, its a beautiful thing right?

G is for Going

Sometimes I like to think about life. Where am I going? What will I do with my life? The answer usually is: Don't worry about it, just take a nap instead.
I'm pretty good at giving myself advice, but I don't always act upon it. Lawl yes I do. Naps for allll!

F is for FBLA

Tommorow I'll be going to a university. I'll be showing three judges a power point or something on Business Law. Which I have NO CLUE ABOUT. Why me?? Why did no one tell me about such things? I'm going to do terrible. And then I will cry.

Question #8

Question:
Dear Cambria,
I've been friends with this certain girl for almost 3yrs. I reaaalllyyy reaally like her. She said "You are such a great guy, i'm glad we're best friends. What should I do????!
friendzoned

Answer:
Dear friendzoned,
I am so sorry. Just kidding I don't feel bad for you. You are in the same spot as countless others. But here's my advice: IGNORE HER! If you distance yourself from her as much as possible, she will either realize her feelings for you or YOU will realize that there are other girls out there.

With as much pity as the next person,
Cambria

E is for Everlasting Triumph

You know that moment when you accomplish something so amazing that you remember it forever? No? Well neither have I.
But, I swear I will do something like that. I will accomplish something that is completely awesome that everyone remembers it for always. I want to do something more than just live my life like everyone else. There should be much more to to it than that, right? RIGHT!

D is for Delusional Damsel

Yeah so I lied. About everything.
Ok that was a lie, I really just lied about the post a day thing. Ain't nobody got time for dat! But I'll try. Sort of.
Sometimes, I forget what I'm writing about. It's one of those times...

C is for Coughing Cambria

Yeahhhh, I'm sicker than anything. I feel like I'm dying, but we must keep calm. I'm coughing so much and have snot running down my face, all day. Blech.

B is for Books

Well, right now I'm in class. IT'S A READING CLASS! And what a beautiful class this is. You can just sit and enjoy yourself. Like I am now. But, books are nice. So bye.

A? I think that's the first letter

 A is for  "Apples and Doom" a creative tale of my near death experience.

It began as a normal day in my little town. I was visiting my beloved Grandmother's house. She had asked my brother and I to pick her apples. See, these apples are not normal apples like the ones you'd find in a grocery store. No these were:


Which are bitter, evil apples. As a child my cousins would pick these apples off the ground and viciously throw them at my head! Anyway,my brother set up a ladder and I grabbed some buckets. We were excited to climb up that giant tree and pick these monsters. My grandmother wanted this done today and it seemed like this would happen. So I climbed up the steps and reached the lowest branch. I clambered onto it and started grabbing the apples and throwing them down to my brother. As soon as I finished one branch I would start another. Often there would be BAD APPLES. These apples usually had holes in them from the birds pecking at their juicy flesh. These apples would be thrown onto the ground for the neighborhood animals to eat them. When we were done picking the apples, I started to climb down the tree. That's when it happened.... As I made my way down the branches, I slipped on something. A BAD APPLE! It had been squished from being thrown so hard at the ground. But, it hadn't made it to the ground. Noooo, the treacherous object had landed on one of the branches. I lost my footing and began my painful descent towards the ground. I knew at that moment I was to die. Luckily, my feet had caught on to a low hanging branch. So my fall was stopped momentarily. I quickly swung forward to the next branch and regained my balance. At this time, my brother was just sitting on the ground eating one of the apples not knowing i had almost died. When I told him what had happened he laughed. I then took my bucket full of apples and stomped inside to eat some apple pie that our lovely Grandma had made.
THE END

The Letter of the Day Is to Begin

SO! As you must have noticed, I have....dun dun DUN... RUN OUT OF IDEAS!
Ok. Lie. I have not. I have many great things planned ,my dears. I just needed a few days to cool down and take school seriously. So we will start with this: THE GREAT LETTER OF THE DAY

This "series" will be about many different topics. It may include: animals, stories, people, candy, Willy Wonka, and mystical creatures created by me! Today is just a warning about this new adventure. Unfortunately  I will not be giving a Letter for you to enjoy. Just sit back and wait for the magic my little readers.

*Cambria*

Passive Aggressive Statements

We all know that one person who acts like they're not mad, but then turn around and say something like this:
NO, I'm not mad. It's just that I wish SOME PEOPLE would stop being so inconsiderate of my feelings.

Honestly. I've actually heard this come out of my friend's mouth. Anyways, let's just say I applaud the people who actually say what they want instead of that.
But, the reason I wrote this Passive Aggressive post is because SOMEONE said something passive aggressive  to me. My response:  " LOOK EVERYONE A DRAMA QUEEN!" but, I said only to myself. So deal with the problem people, tell someone why you're upset! DO IT!

School again?

Awh yes the dreaded place of old. Torturing students for countless years. My school chose to restart on this Tuesday... How pleasant.  That means I'll get to see my favorite teacher, favorite friends, and those other kids I swear I have never seen before. Yayyyyy!

How To Enjoy 2013

• Build a zombie apocalypse safe house.
•  Learn a different language.
• USE that different language.
• Get a Pinterest.
• Follow me on Twitter, if you can find me! Mwhahaha
• Eat a new type of fruit, like guava.
• Decide to enjoy the little things.
• Read this post.
• Read this ENTIRE blog!
• Give Smokey the cat a hug from wherever you live.

That's all folks!